The most important being in my life...
... is Molotov.
Yes.
Come on. Go out then!.
Jump! It's getting damned cold here, if you are hesitating like that.
There will be food in an hour. Meow then, so I can hear you.
Molotov! Come to daddy.
Come, come to eat? Molotov!
No!
No, no, no.
No, no, no!
No, no.
Pigs!
What a bloody mess.
Fucking fox. You have eaten your last meal!
I'll fucking give you your dessert!
Suddenly I had blown myself all the way in a nursing home.
61
- How is it going? - 62
Now I've lost count. How many are in each package?
- It says that there are ten in each package. - You cannot be sure.
- It won't fit. - I have to start over.
I'm starting all over again. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Allan? Allan?
Allan? My goodness. Where is he?
- Where is the man? - Where have you gone?
Hello.
Are there going... Can one go from here somewhere?
- Where do you want to go, you said? - I didn't say.
What is departing from here?
- When? - Well...
Anytime.
Is there something leaving here?
The bus to Strängnäs is departing in three minutes.
- Strängnäs? - Yes. Route 322. Is that something?
Yes.
Is this enough?
No, but you can get to Byringe with that.
- What's in Byringe? - Not a damn thing.
Then I take a one-way ticket to Byringe.
And you are ?!... over 65!
- What? - Let me see...
- Here you go. - Thank you.
Shit!
Come on, damn it!
What the hell were they thinking?
Hold this trunk. And don't touch it! Shut up, damnit!
Yes.
That old bastard must have gone up in smoke.
The basement is dark and locked. Certainly he hasn't been here.
We should call the police. Do you do that, or shall I do it? You say the word.
Allan!
Allan.
Many have yelled at me. Anybody, from railway employees to dictators.
Where the hell have you gone? Motherfucker. Shit!
Allan.
The first one who shouted at me, was my mother.
I cannot remember that she screamed, but she certainly did.
I screamed too. That's what babies do when they see the world for the first time.
Father, I didn't see him scream so much.
- Karlsson, you have blasphemed! - Because I showed a rubber johnny?
This is the solution to hunger and poverty. Call that blashemy?
Yes, if you do this on Children's Day in the middle of the square of Malmköping.
- I must warn the people. - So it is blasphemy!
I was only nine, when I saw him for the last time.
One cannot live in this hypocritical monarchy. I'm going to Russia.
Father proclaimed a republic: 15 square meters in the middle of Moscow.
This is the solution to hunger and poverty. While the woman get's not pregnant.
No, no children. Nyet. This is fantastic.
- There could father do what he wanted. - What are you doing?
- Well, for the Russians took care of him. - It's the solution to hunger and misery!
Can I say one last thing?
Country officer, country cop!
- Country officer. - Mrs. Karlsson.
The message that the father was dead, arrived on a sunny April day.
It was also the day I discovered how nice it is to blow up things.
Anything father left, came in one package.
For mother a colorful egg, made by a certain Fabbe.
I got such a Russian woman, a Babushka.
And a camera.
It were good gifts.
Mother swapped the egg with grocer Gustavsson.
He did great business, as it turned out. A real spirit of commerce.
After father's death mother coughed for two years...
... before she ascended to heaven, where my father might hang out.
So I got a little worried about the future.
But that's normal, when children become orphans.
- How will I cope? - You sound like your father.
He was always thinking.
And see how it went with him. You get nothing out of thinking.
The only thing we know for sure is that it is as it is-
- and that it will be as it will be.
It were my mother's last words.
Since then I have had to rely on myself.
- Hello. - What?
- You forgot your suitcase. - It's fine.
There will be no train here. It is closed.
- What did you say? - There's no train here.
- The station is closed. - Yes.
I can see that as well. I was not born yesterday.
- What are you doing here? - The bus stopped here.
Well. But where the hell do you want to go?
Where to? Well... That...
Time will tell.
- Have you been long on the way? - On the way?
That is a big suitcase, you are dragging along.
It is not mine. I have taken it with me.
- Thus you are a thief? - Yes.
- Are you hungry? - I'm most of all thirsty.
- Then we'll be fine. - Great.
- Do you know your way around here? - I usually jog here.
- I know the area. - Do you know your way around here?
- Yes, I know the area. - That's good for your health.
What the hell?
- What are you doing? What is the problem? - It's empty.
Do you have a jerrycan with you?
There is only one house in Byringe! It's light brown!
It is also a bit yellow!
- Did he not just lost the way? - No, he is fully aware of what is going on.
Clear-headed. How can one run away from his own party?
I have worked myself silly for his sake, and then he disappears just like that.
We bought a princess pie for at least 40 people.
That we ordered, because he likes marzipan pie.
Normally we've got pie with whipped cream. Marzipan sticks to their teeth.
What shall we do with it? Here I am with that big pie.
I would like Schwarzwalder Kirsch, but it's not my birthday.
Call me when he gets back. Cases like this one always solves themselves.
Perhaps he jumped out the window? It was open this morning, when we sang.
- It was actually open. - I do not know.
- Maybe. It'll be all right. - I don't think so.
Pooh! Nursing home. They got the idea, that I am going to go there in the autumn.
I have set my foot in there once.
If you have taken four, you might well take another one.
I got a dime to entertain the old ones with my accordion.
They were sitting there like morons.
- While you were playing the accordion? - Yes.
Poor souls. The way they are sitting there. As if they are in jail.
- Congratulations again. - Oh well. I forgot all about that.
Down this little fellow.
Have you been married?
- No, I never was. - How did you avoid that?
You pee outside?
I have to make room for the next round. It is urgent.
It was good, the food has slid down. Dessert is still coming.
I come.
Hello? Is there anybody? Hello?
- Where is that old fucker and the trunk? - It is closed.
The station is closed.
- Where is that old fucker and the trunk? - I am alone here.
Do you think I'm stupid? Who then sat here?
- Ouch! - Son of a bitch!
- Just beware. - Ouch!
- Ouch! Stop it. - Son of a bitch.
I'll kill you. Just beware!
Stop.
- Ouch! - Shall we flip a coin?
- Let's see if you can live on. - Stop now. Calm down a little.
Be glad I do not have coins on me.
In the hall there is a bowl of coins.
In the hall? Are you born yesterday?
- Dammit, that's telling him!. - You do not say.
That dessert, you were talking about, how's it?
We need to get rid of him... before he wakes up.
I have to admit that one begins to be curious to know-
- what's in the suitcase.
Well. This is the fastest way...
- This is a bit filled up. I'll take that. ... to open it, with or without a code.
Do you drink it pure?
Holy shit!
What a lot of cash. No wonder that the boy was a bit grumpy.
Open it, damn it. Do you hear, old fucker?
Let me out!
- I just want the damn suitcase. - Relax.
Seriously.
- What was that? - I turned on the unit.
I take the damned suitcase and leave. I shall not hit you anymore.
It is easy to be cocky, when you are trapped there.
There hasn't been much.
Life is as it is, and will be as it will be.
Just like grocer Gustavsson would learn.
- Wait here, Bibi. - Come back soon.
He had his trip well planned. He ​​chose a sunny day, a beautiful road
- and a hillock for a pee break. Still, things went wrong.
Because I had chosen the same hillock for my nuclear test.
She screamed blue murder.
This is what mistresses do, when grocerheads drop down in front of them.
The test was successful, but it became an one-way ticket to the mental hospital.
Here.
This is your new home. No tomfoolery and bustle here.
After a few years behind bars-
- I ended up at a race biologist.
Professor Lundborg.
Come on, Allan.
Say Allan, is there negro blood in the family?
- No, not that I know of. - I can not reconcile it.
Allan has a negroid size. They are well-endowed.
- But they are very light-skinned. - But I'd like to meet a negro.
- Allan's father was a revolutionary. - He was a bit special.
And appently the apple never falls far from the tree.
We'd better be on the safe side.
Lundborg spread out his tools and made sure-
- that my genes were not further spread.
Doctor, the patient is ready.
This does the race biologist well.
Give him more bandage.
He didn't have a steady hand-
- but as far as I know the operation went well.
- 49.800.000... - Here's the last one.
- 49.900.000... - And this one.
- 50 million. - You can truly count.
Not bad.
- Still cannot get through? - His fucking phone doesn't work.
Just keep calling. Send a SMS. For once, do, what you have to do.
- Where is he? - He just should pick up a suitcase.
- Suitcase? - Don't you damned know what a suitcase is!
A portable object to do things in.
- Could you not get it yourself? - Does this looks like something for an amusement park?
- I had forgotten that anklet. - But I have not forgotten it.
- Is it Bulten? - I'll take it.
Shut up. I have to listen. Shut up, I said.
- Hey, it's Gäddan. - Yeh, hello mate. How are things going?
Things good. No problen. What is clock for you? We have eh... evening here.
Never mind about the clocks. You should suppose to ring me earlier, weren't you? Why didn't you ring me earlier?
Oh yes, I know, but I had some eh... mobile battery problem.
Hey... Calm down, calm down, mate.
You're stumbling, you're mumbling and you're talking gibberish. Maybe you could hand your phone to someone to who I can can speak properly.
Mobile charger... Okay, wait. I give to you phone for Caracas.
Wait.
Caracas, bitch! Phone.
Come on.
Who is it? Is it Bulten?
- Pim. How are you? - Never mind how I am. Have you got my cash?
- We have it. - What do you mean?
One of my guys has the dough. Tell them we have it. No problem.
Caracas, are you there? Hello?
Hello. Bulten has it.
Oh good, so everything is fine then; you've got it? - He is not here yet, but he will be here soon. Don't worry.
Just give the bag to my courier tomorrow, otherwise you're dead.
I told you to say that we have the money!
Is it so hard? It's bloody outrageous.
You are going to Malmköping and pick up that fool. It's getting serious.
- Coffee? - Yes.
- Asparin. - Yes.
- Did you sleep well? - Yes.
- Has he made a lot of noise this morning? - No, not a sound.
Minus 20 .. Shit!
- Damn. What have I done? - What?
Shit. How could I forget to turn off the freezer?
Yes, you. It...
It will be fine.
What's done cannot be undone unless you have a time machine.
Regret has never made the done undone.
I had surgery, I have never regret it.
On the contrary. It was a stroke of luck.
If I had not been so stiff in my crotch.
- I had not taken a short break in a cannon foundry.
And I had never worked there.
- These cannons... - We found the barrels. We need people.
You get a week to settle. Esteban. Shut up and do your work.
Si, si, si. We must work together to create a better world.
The Spaniard Esteban was as thin as a rake.
- He did nothing else but talk. - Join the war against Franco.
Allan, where do you stand? What do you want? You have to decide.
- You have to give me an answer. - I like everything that explodes.
We must do something.
Since the outbreak of the civil war in Spain-
- he wanted to crush some Franco.
Why not? In war, you can blow up all sorts of things.
Viva la revolucion. Viva Durutti.
Where are you going? Come with me.
Durutti says...
- Hitler is a good man. - I want to sleep.
One should not sleep.
We have to fight against Franco. I'd rather die here than to give up.
Viva la revolucion!
Lift the flag for the republic and open your hearts for the revolution.
When we arrived, still before we had fired the first bullet...
Death to Franco!
... and Esteban stood up and shouted for the last time...
I remembered my mother's wise words.
This kid would never blow up any bridges.
But the more there were for me.
And three and two and one. And now the fucking bang.
Duck!
For many years I did nothing else-
- than eating, sleeping and detonating.
It was a wonderful time.
It was too much of a good thing, because suddenly I lost the desire.
I thought:
"I get cold feet of this. I'll have to think of something else."
If you have been blowing up things through entire Spain -
- you have nothing against getting a ride.
Stop.
What is he doing at the middle of the road?
Stop!
It turned out to be General Franco, who was in the car.
Appentely my waving was appreciated with dancing, paella
- and a real Rioja drinking binge.
It was a perfect end of my time in Spain.
My friend Allan, you saved my life.
I give you my favorite gun.
That shines from newness.
- Take it. - Thank you.
I wonder if you can shoot with it.
Let's dance.
Be quiet, everyone! This is my friend Allan.
What will you miss most from our great land?
Wine and my friend Esteban, who is dead.
Long live Esteban!
- What's that beeping? - It's probably a phone.
There.
Let me see. We are getting a lot of sms.
- Now? - Inside there is a poor range.
From Gäddan from Hinken, Hinken, Hinken.
- Hinken, Mom. Hinken, Gäddan. - He seems popular.
Well... Hinken writes: "Call or die."
Damn.
- Hello? - I'm at the station.
Is completely empty. Except for that fairy in the ticket office.
- What should I do? - Have you asked him?
- About what? - Ask if he saw something.
Okay, I shall ask him.
Ronny Hult and his wife are here. Next time you pick up your guests yourself.
Sorry. I did not know that they were here.
- Hello. - Have a seat.
Tell me. What happened yesterday?
I work at the station, and have been working for some hours...
Just tell now what happened.
- That's what I do. - You're not so good at it.
There was a guy who jumped upon me. He ​​was very violent.
Now you forget to tell about that old fellow.
But... well, there was an old man. I sold a ticket to that man.
It was an 100-year-old man. He ​​bought a ticket from Ronny.
Then maltreated this biker Ronny and forced him to drive to Byringe.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Do you know what time it is?
Yes.
- It's almost eleven. - that's good.
So, almost time for a lunch break.
Hello, hello.
- Hey. - Goodbye.
- It could have hurt. - It has its advantages to be dead.
Here you go.
- Should we throw everything out? - We dump the whole lot.
- Now what? - He must in there.
Damn it!
That was that.
Djibouti. Yes, yes. He's going to see some of the world.
The advantage of a waistcoat is that the size is not very important.
Okay. Let's go on.
That was a miserable throw.
- What? - Julius. help me with pulling that suitcase.
- We're two. - Hell, yeah.
Indeed. Then you take this. Thank you.
Hello, you there!
Hello there? Can you wait for a moment? I'm from the police.
I am looking for a 100-year-old man who has run away from the nursing home.
- Have you seen an old man? - I saw an old man on a handcar.
He past by with Jonsson.
- Was that Julius Jonsson? - Exactly.
And someone with a biker vest. He ​​was wearing sunglasses.
Young people nowadays. He ​​didn't even greet.
- Where did you see them? - On the sideline near Åkers cannon foundry.
- Has it been long since you saw them? - Half an hour ago approximately.
- Are you sure? - No.
Well.
Bye.
You...
Hello. Do you have room for two hitchhikers?
Hello.
- Well, it's okay. - Super.
- It's pretty stuffed back there. - I have the suitcase here in front.
- Where are you going? - Is this your kiosk?
No. I just work here. I am studying.
Are you studying? Well, not in school, I suppose?
No. I've tried quite a lot actually. I have looked at a lot of things.
I imagine it's a pretty tough question-
- with career prospects and such things.
- How then? - No, but...
There are so many different... So...
- I could imagine that... - What?
I can imagine that the choice is difficult.
That's fine also, to keep all posibilities open.
Well, never mind.
- Jump in. - Thank you.
Where are you going to?
Yeah... Where are you going?
- Purchase at the wholesaler's. - Wholesaler? That sounds nice.
- Nice? It is located in the middle of the wilderness. - Wilderness is overestimated.
Yes, it might.
Why do you not record the advertisement? It would be perfect.
Skandia is 150 years and that old one is 100 years.
That would be awesome. As a policeman you could make something of it.
- No, I do not. - They are both old.
- I'm a cop, dammit. - It would be really awesome.
No, I told you.
I am paid by the state. Damned, I cannot advertise at this channel.
This was the 70's group 'The Police' with 'Message in a Bottle'.
- Now I have here policeman Aronsson in the studio. - Detective...
Welcome. You have also a 'message' for us, but not in a bottle.
Fire away!
Well, it is about a man named Allan Karlsson.
- Who on his 100th birthday disappeared from the nursing home in Malmköping.
100 years. Son of a bitch. Does he play hide-and-seek?
No. We believe he has been kidnapped by a bikergang near the station.
Has he been kidnapped?
It sounds like a bachelor party. Is he going to marry Anna Nicole Smith?
We can use all tips from the listeners.
- Hello? - I'm sitting in the car.
And a cop on the radio was talking about a 100-year-old
- who has been kidnapped by a biker gang.
- What the hell are you saying? Kidnapped? - They said it on the radio.
- It must be that damned Bulten. - Now you're fucking dead, Bulten.
It's fine.
- Want some? - No, I don't want anything.
100-year-old kidnapped by biker gang -disappeared from nursing home.
To fill up. Pull the handle.
You need to pull the handle-
- otherwise there will be no gasoline. Pull that handle at the pump.
- No... - Pull that handle at the pump.
You've never refuelled before? You have to pull that handle.
- Has he kidnapped you? - What? Who?
- Julius. - No, no. Pull that handle.
It says that you have been kidnapped by a biker gang.
Julius has a biker vest.
That's not his. He took it from the little bald kid.
- A little kid? - He doesn't need it anymore. He's dead.
- I hit him with a croquet mallet. - Did you kill him?
No, he froze to death. That little bald kid.
He came in with a sweating face.
I guess he had diarrhea. He ​​was hurrying.
He put the suitcase in my hand. There was 50 million in it.
Go! Step on it!
- He can not figure out how to refuel. - Never mind. Go!
Benny, step on it! That's the way.
- The giantess at the cash desk saw me. - Saw what?
This small bag tumbled down accidentally in my pocket. Do you want to taste?
YES. So. you have stolen this inside?
- What the hell! - What is it?
- What have you beeen up to? - I'm sorry.
It is clear, while you are working in a kiosk, takes it to heart...
- I couldn't care less... - I don't like sweets!
What the hell have you done?
I never make an appeal on the radio again. It ended up wrong totally.
No, It didn't go very well.
They called from Åkers foundry. The dog smelled a dead body on the trolley.
- A dead body? - Yes.
Benny, what do you mean? Do you not go with us to the wholesaler's?
Or do you try again on Monday?
- What will you do with the money? - We should probably split it.
We'll talk about that later, but we have to go from here.
Can't you get going?
But to whom belongs the money?
It's not our money. It has to be from somebody else.
What from who? Who is who actually?
Everything goes from hand to hand eventually.
Franco's gun-
- I swapped for a work permit in America.
Hey, Allan.
- You know that they are looking for people, right? - Who?
- For the Manhattan Project. - Manhattan Project?
Manhattan Project, Allan. If we get a chance, we must try to get an interview or somethin...
- Hey, you see my fucking hammer up there? - It sounds damn good.
- What do you say man. Me and you could make a change. - Yeh, that's very good. Thats a good project.
It is time that someone does something about it. It is bitter.
Bitter? Man, what the fuck are you talking about?
The Manhattan drink. Here.
- Fuck! Christ sake! - You drink it. The Manhattan drink.
- What the hell do you mean, man? - It's like kissing the ass of a dog.
Bitter.
- It's a bomb. It's the biggest bomb on earth. - Is it a bomb project?
Suddenly my desire to detonate turned back again.
I have to say. It was a wonderful feeling.
It's not going to work. We tried that last week.
- Maybe some coffee will help. - Thanks.
Still, still no bomb today, I guess?
Mr. Oppenheimer, I really must say, I am quite disappointed. Nothing happens here. No explosions.
- Your name is Allan, right? - Allan, yes.
Allan, this is not just any bomb. We need to figger out some pretty complicated things here.
No, no, no. You'll have to keep on testing. You have to start testing again.
As my mother used to say, "Don't think so much. Just do it."
But what your mom didn't tell you is that before you detonate this bomb, we need to solve a mino,r but crucial fucking problem.
- What's the problem? - Allan... I'll give you a minute.
For what we are going for we need to use twice as much plutonium as we are using now.
So, what are you waiting for?
We can not just add twice as much plutonium. It is unstable and just falls apart. It's simple physics.
Yes. You have been talking about this for weeks now. Listen, I give you a minute.
I have a little theory on this. What if you take half here and half there-
- And put it together just before the explosion.
Yeh, now that's the problem. How are we gonna do that witha a falling bomb incased in metal up in the air?
Damn... Do you have some dynamite?
It was not so difficult to get the bomb going.
The people were wildly enthusiastic. Not at least Harry.
Vice President Harry S. Truman.
I am gonna buy you the biggest drink you have ever got.
- I've pissed my pants. - You've done mankind a great service, my friend.
Do you listen to me? What you have done... You have changed the world.
You have changed the world for the better.
Listen to me... There will be no more wars after this invention of yours.
Thanks to you, my friend.
America and the world will never have to fight again because people know the power...
Gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
- Mr. Truman. - What is it?
There is a phone call. It's a phone call you have to take.
I have to take this. Never go into politics.
Hello.
A fully drunken American can talk the ears of anyone's head.
It takes a lot to stop them such as a president's death.
Jesus Christ. I'll be right there.
It was exactly what Roosevelt did that day.
Now... here.
Harry. You forgot your...
It is a vice-president lighter. You keep it.
Harry was not so fussy about what belongs to whom.
Mr Karlsson, welcome back to Sweden.
Prime Minister Erlander offers you a welcome dinner.
When I landed-
- I was hijacked for a dinner at the Grand.
It fitted well after the miserable pigfeed on the plane.
- I'm hungry. - Get in quickly.
The soldier said: 'Duck, ladies and gentlemen, for it is loaded.'
I heard from Harry S. Truman that Allan has meant a lot for America.
- Nja, we had a lot of fun. - Tell me. I'm so curious.
We drank large amounts of tequila.
I'm talking about what happened before that.
No, we only drank tequila. Harry would rather have bourbon.
- But I mean your work. - Well, I worked in Manhattan.
There you don't drink tequila.
Sorry, I have to go. The government calls. My wife, that is.
Now that's enough. Keep talking with engineer Eklund.
Bye.
- The Prime Minister has asked me... - Is he coming back?
- No. - Then I'll take his piece of meat.
It is a pity to throw it away.
Prime Minister has asked me... to inquire-
- if there may be a place for you at AB Atomic Energy.
- How nice. - So let's start with your studies.
There is not much to talk about. Three years.
- Only three years of academic study? - Yes, I stopped when I was nine.
- Nine? - Yes, exactly. Or I was ten.
No. I filled tonnes in the year so I was nine when I left school.
Here we have once more a little fellow, that wants to go down. Here, take this.
This Eklund disappeared faster than a rabbit can fuck.
He was not the only one in the Grand, who was hunting.
Good evening, Mr.. Karlsson. I'm Julij Popov.
I am a physicist. We are colleagues.
Let's take a walk.
- Together, it seems that we need fresh air. - What the hell, a walk?
- Popov! - I'm coming.
What a lot of bottles. Grönstedts...
- I take one for the road. You pay. - Okay.
- Give her a fifty. - Yes, it's alright.
Oei, that's strong.
Now it begins to bite. I feel damn good.
We would like to make use of your experience and knowledge.
- You do not say? - It can be very lucrative for you.
- Why? - Comrade Stalin is a very nice man.
I just like to blow things up.
- I like this too. - You do?
Yes.
Just give me some dynamite, so I blow up anything. Fucking shit.
Fucking shit.
What the hell is this?
We run out of gasoline.
- Go there. - Yes, do it.
Sjötorp? That sounds sturdy.
- Hello. - Hey, hey.
We wondered if we could rent a room here for one night.
This is damned not a hotel. I live here.
But we pay well. We have money. It's not a problem.
What is going on here? Are you on the run?
I understand that it seems odd.
- Well, there comes the old man. - We are a little lost.
And we hope that it is possible.
- Hello. Gunilla. - Nice.
Time will tell.
Well, I can accommodate you as long as you don't piss in my pants. Otherwise, in the barn.
- What is that? - Sonja.
What is this?
Hi there.
It's alright.
Come on, Sonya.
Is she 40 years old?
Sonja? I do not know.
- Why do you think that? - I'm almost a zoologist.
How the hell can you be almost?
If you are almost done with training...
- Where did you find her? - In a circus.
- Well. Can she do different tricks? - I do not know.
- Circus is cruel. - Absolutely.
- I also hate circus. - It was the only good thing in my ex.
He saw that I felt sorry for her and bent her fate with his own hands.
He just took her ?
- Took her? An elephant has a will of its own. - Yes.
Allan.
Not too hot.
- Stop! - It's not warm enough.
It should taste grilled.
- What is that? - French potato salad.
I could see that, but that green stuff. It looks delicious.
That, guacamole.
- Are you also almost cook? - No, almost dietician.
No, now are you kidding me.
No, unfortunately I'm almost very much. Almost veterinarian.
Almost economist, almost pharmacist, almost behavioural scientist.
So, you are almost guaranteed single. You certainly didn't have time for women.
No. Or yes...
I'm single. I'm available.
- Or maybe it was a joke? - No, but you're not making fun of me, do you?
No.
In the last 18 years I have gathered 920 university credits.
I've had a hard time to control my curiosity.
Stop lying to yourself. That's not gonna help you further.
- Nothing comes out of nothing. - That's one way to look at it.
Well, I be damned! What the hell are you doing here?
- What? - What are you doing here?
- I'll pick up some things. - You've got nothing here.
Yes, I have. I will pick up my bowls.
- What kind of bowls? - With the blue flowers.
You gave me those for my birthday.
I just want my bowles.
Fuck, Ricky. Get out of here. You are not wanted here anymore.
- Is he a good guck? - Yeah, he's lovely.
He is the best. Damned lovely.
- Nimble-fingered. My 'Love' you could say. - Ricky. Hey.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Take care.
No, you must turn.
Stop.
Yes. No... Almost.
- Now do... That's it. - You can back there.
- It's fine. - A little bit more backwards...
- Stop. - Good.
Wow, that wasn't good for his clutchplate.
Gunilla! Gunilla!
What's wrong with me? I only attract all kinds of idiots.
Maybe you know. Well, you're actually almost psychologist.
No, not exactly. I don't know much about that.
I have taken the basic course. I need neuropsychology.
But it's hard to tell what your problem is.
But you can change your behavior.
Benny, you can't fucking choose with whom you fall in love.
No, that's true.
Gunilla! Gunilla. Gunilla...
- Hello? - Bro.
- Ricky? - She left me.
- She's met someone else. - Ricky, calm down. That's awful.
Yes, that's bloody awful. Gunilla.
Keep away from pills and booze. Tomorrow we take a look at it.
It's over.
She bangs with that damn 100-year-old.
What did you say? 100-year-old?
- Have you seen that 100-year-old? - That old bastard who was on TV.
Ricky...
The day before yesterday I was sitting all alone in my kitchen.
Then he showed up and now I'm here.
It's fucking wonderful.
Yes, one leads to the other.
But if that 'other' is always better, one never can tell.
But I know that what you get from a submarine and vodka-
- is that your stomach gets upset. And quite a bit actually.
- Dammit. - I'm sorry. What did you say?
First, we would have Albert Einstein to help us.
- You're okay? - Yes.
Well, we found Mr. Einstein. KGB picked him up in Geneva.
Is it my bachelor party? How exciting.
Wait. I'm not going to get married at all. I don't even have a girlfriend.
We found later out that he was Herbert Einstein, Alberts idiot brother.
Herbert Einstein didn't share much more than the looks with his brother.
Comrade Stalin was very.. kind of disappointed.
I could believe that.
- So we put our trust in you, Allan. - Is the factory in Siberia not finished yet?
Who is responsible for it? I ask you!
Fools! Idiots!
Marble is not so good, when you have a headache. He is screaming.
Who is responsible?
Comrade Stalin wants you to tell him everything you know about the atomic bomb.
You do not say? Yes, why not?
But maybe... a drink first?
What does he say? Kalashnikov?
- One drink, and then you tell me everything. - That seems a good start. Good.
Dance!
Dance on!
Shut up, you're annoying. You sound just like Franco.
- Franco. Fascist? - Yes, the moaning the whole time. It is tiresome.
- Do you know Franco? - Yes. I... I saved his life.
Did you save-
- the life of that small Spanish rat?
No, your dance... it was beautiful. Very masculine.
Franco was danced more like this... Like a woman.
- You may say your last words. - Exactly. Listen.
I dont'think that men should dance at all.
Only women.
You can not feel the same way about everything.
But that Gulag camps are hard, I can underline.
But I also learned to know some new people.
Some of them slightly. Funny enough, I met Herbert.
Herbert Einstein. As said before: one leads to the other.
- Hey, idiot. Put that stone back. - Yes, yes.
Idiot.
Hello.
And the food there, well, more the diet.. It was miserable.
And vodka we didn't get either. Not one drop.
I decided to escape. That was a good plan.
Herbert could move freely everywhere without being shot-
- the guards were accustomed to it, that he constantly lost his way.
You pretend that you are going to the canteen, but you end up in the laundry.
- There you steal two uniforms. - Go to the canteen?
No, no. You pretend to go to the canteen,
but you end up in the laundry. The guards, they think that you go to the canteen.
- So I go to the canteen? - You go to the laundry.
The laundry? Why I go to the laundry?
The food is in the canteen.
This is fucking unbelievable. Listen, you go to the laundry by mistake.
Which mistake?
- Do we eat before we escape? - No.
- But we are going to the canteen. - Herbert, listen for once...
We are going to the canteen every day, but you are not going to the canteen.
You go to the laundry to steal two uniforms.
- Oh, I see. That's the plan. - Yes, exactly.
Allan, we are in the cantaan. We made it. We made it, Allan.
After a year I gave up. My plan was too complicated for Herbert.
Herbert, forget it.
Damn. What have I done?
Herbert, stop. Do you hear? Try to get some sleep.
I can not find the pin.
- The pin for this. - This is a hand grenade.
- When did you find it? - Oh, maybe a year ago or so.
- Come on. Where did you find it? - In the laundry.
- You've been in the laundry? - I went there by mistake.
You must throw it away.
- Who's there? - Stop!
Sorry. We have a problem. We have a grenade without a pin.
- Throw it. - Grenade!
Grenade!
Now it's gone.
Now I know that uncontrolled grenades behave like cats dicks in March.
The danger came from the right and the left.
- I think, we should go now. - To the laundry?
No look, we can take this.
Here.
The fire spreads to the military base.
Stalin took the news about the camp -
- and the burned up Pacific fleet seriously. His heart clogged up.
Shuffle him in the bathtub, flush the fucker, make him talk.
In the bathroom with that swine and flush him.
Pull yourself together, dammit!
What is the address. Where does she live?
- Where's that bitch? - Sjötorp.
Because it is so nice at the lake!
- Gäddan, did you hear that? - Put your foot down, Hinken! Step on it.
The amplifier does not work and the warranty is still valid?
Yes, I deal with it. Thank you.
Those sleuth-hounds. How do they know where a body is?
- What do you mean? They are sleuth-hounds. - Yes, but...
I do not know, but that Allan is 100 years old.
- So what? - Older people smell different.
A sweet smell. It's a little like...
Yes, kind like corpses.
- Stop it. - Yes.
Check once more these Per Gunnar "Gäddan" Gärdin and Hans "Hinken" Claesson.
- But I'm busy with the 100-year-old. - It's the same biker gang: 'Never Again'.
- Didn't you read the investigation? - Yes, I did.
Did it get stuck in your throat?
Good heavens... ?!
Here, take some more vegetables.
I found this mobile on the kitchen floor. Is it yours?
- No, it's not mine. - It is not from Gunilla either.
- It's off. - Turn it on and see who has called.
Then you find out who's phone it is.
Yes, but... do we have to know that?
- Here you go. - Thank you.
Some "Åleg" called. "Åleg" again.
His name is Oleg. It is Russian. It is the little Popov.
- Is it your mobile, Allan? - Yes.
- I have found that old bastard.
- Fucking awesome. Do you have the suitcase? - No, there are a lot of people here.
- Just find that suitcase, damn it! - Yeah, okay.
- What do you mean, 'Okay'? Is there a problem? - No, but that old man...
- What should I do with him? - Do what you always do: threaten him.
This is a threat!
If somebody dares to move, I blow his fucking head off. Here with the suitcase!
It is in the kitchen.
- You, fagot, get that suitcase! - Do you mean me?
I did say fagot. Move on. Or I shall down this old bastard.
And you, remain calm up there.
Now, hurry up.
Stop, stay there.
Move away from the trunk. Step back. Further.
- Hello? - We are running out of time.
- Have you found the suitcase? - I hold it in my hands.
- Fucking awesome. Do you have the dough? - I'm checking now.
You all keep quiet. Very quiet. You, fagot. Stay calm.
Stay calm, stay calm.
- It's a crummy suitcase, made of plastic. - Shut up, you old bastard.
- Shit. We hit the jackpot! - Good.
- Hurry up with that suitcase and come here. - Fuck off, you bastard.
- Stop, bitch! I'll shoot! - I'm the one who shoots. I live here.
- Hinken, what is happening? - Beat it, or I'll shoot you.
Hinken?
Damn. No...
Caracas, dammit! You must go.
Hey, what are you screaming.
- Where the hell do you come from? - Bought melons. There were no more.
Hinken has been shot by that 100-year-old, and you are shopping.
- Are you kidding with me? - Do I look like it?
Half of the gang and 50 million is gone and you are buying fruit.
- Watermelon is a vegetable. - I don't give a shit.
That's not what it is about. Don't argue with me. Do you understand?
It will not happen again.
What are you doing? Stop. Where the hell you think you are going? You're not going anywhere.
Stop right there, damn it!
Shit.
I cut... That's it.
- Have you got all the bullets out? - Sorry, I should have done something.
You should have told me about the stolen money.
- Now, I'm also involved. - It's not my money yet.
- I don't know yet if I am sharing with them. - Of course you are sharing with us.
- Does he? - You also get a dime, Gunilla.
A Dime? I'm just as deeply in the shit like you. A quarter to me, thanks.
- The sun is shining, do you want to swim with me? - No.
- Julius, shall we take a dip? - Hell, no.
- Maybe Sonja wants a bath? - No.
- What shall we do with him? - Maybe we should set fire to the car.
- Ah, Leave him. - Someone needs to do something with him.
And that will probably me, for I am the only one here who takes responsibility.
Responsibility? So it's your sense of responsibility that says that we are safe now here?
- You stood there waving your gun. - He was about to blow off our heads.
- Should we not get out of here? - I'm going to swim. Call me if you need me.
- Where do we leave him? - I do not know yet.
Driving around with a dead body. I don't even know who it is.
No, you never can tell.
First people can look like this and later turn out to be that.
In Paris in the spring of '68, I went to a party-
- with Herbert and his charming wife.
It was with the French Minister of Foreign Affairs.
- Your Majesty, welcome. - This is my husband, Herbert.
- And his friend Allan Karlsson. - Welcome.
No, Jean-Claude, not now.
It's you. Are you hiding yourself?
- What are you doing here? - Have we met before?
- Eh, you know each other? - No, no, he is confusing me with someone else.
- Jean-Claude Pistou, my interpreter at the embassy. - No,no, no, this is Vladimir Karpov.
You better watch out. He is a real party animal. We had a big party with Stalin.
Lots of vodka, A lot we drunk.
- Who are you? - You know very well who I am. Who are you?
Vladimir had played masquerade-
- for several years with this minister.
What followed was the French secret service.
Give us a name!
And Ryan Hutton at the French CIA office.
He was also a bit curious.
So, how do you know this Vladimir?
- Well, Mr. Popov, he brought us together. - Julij Popov, the physicist?
Yes, we had this party with Stalin and Kirov and this KGB guy Alexander.
They danced like, you know the kosak dance.
I don't think that men should dance actually.
But maybe if I get real drunk, I prefer a snoa.
Or a polka. Polka is good.
Men like snoa. Snoa is a good dance. It's quite quick
I get the picture, Allan. So, you know a lot op people and you are social.
- Yes. - So, you will help us?
Sure. Are you in trouble?
Thank you.
- I am looking for Popov. - He's in the back there.
That's a firm grip.
You have him in a hold.
What are you doing here?
It's so long ago. May I?
American cowboy boots.
- This is my son, Oleg. - Junior.
- Are they real American boots? - Yes, they are fine.
- Can't I get them? - Oleg, stop it.
- He can have mine. - Take this. It's also American.
No. Oleg?
- What do you say now? - Thank you.
It's fine. Hope you enjoy it.
What are you doing in Moscow?
The CIA has a problem and has asked me for help.
So I thought maybe you could help... What the hell is this?
- Wash your hands. - I already have done that.
Then wash them again.
My friend, I really would like to help you, but I cannot do that. I've got a family now.
Why not?
If I steal some secret information, they kill me and my family.
Just talk to the people in the Kremlin.
The KGB must have something lying there, that eh.. they want to rid of.
I apologize, my friend.
Ryan Hutton? Do you have a meeting with the CIA in Paris?
Can you at least get some interesting information from them?
Probably.
Hutton was happy with the junk from the Russians.
- How much money this guy want? - No money, just...
Just give him some of your information.
Counter Intell. That's goin' pretty well, Allan.
Suddenly I was double spy.
Or maybe just a spy. Actually, there was never anything confidential in the briefcase.
Both the Russians and the Yankees emptied the trash right into it.
But they were both in the very best mood.
Every now and then some people were unlucky.
That's the way it goes in a Cold War.
Hello, suitcase...
You do not say?
People often look like this, and they turn out to be like that.
The new U.S. President Ronald Reagan looked like a real villain.
He was that also, so it may not apply to everyone.
It's the same button for the start and the stop of the recording of sound, you toggle it.
Toggle? English please
You tell him. Allan, I can't stand all these technical doohickey stuff either.
Why can't he use a normal tape recorder like everybody else?
- Mr. President? Sit, a moment of your time? - Start... and stop.
- If we get rid of the wall, the roses will get sun. - No, you are always bugging me about that wall.
The wall stays. Do you understand me, motherfucker?
You're always bugging me about the wall.
The wall stays. Do you understand me, motherfucker?
I do not want any nasty creatures invading my garden.
I am the fucking president and for the last time: Don't tear down that wall.
This record-
- confirms what I always have suspected.
He is terrified that we might destroy the wall.
He knows that if we do it-
- the Russians will overrun the world-
- and conquer it without weapons.
When my old friend Popov passed away, I decided to call it a day.
But his son came sometimes over for a visit.
To crush the wall with a hammer and chisel...
It is a shame.
- Cheers to Dad. - To father.
The entire Eastern Bloc is loaded with weapons and they are chopping the Wall.
What is this? Hello?
You do have to pick up the phone, when you turn 100, dont'you?
- Oleg? - You've got that phone so we can talk.
- Yes... - Okay. Sorry.
Happy Birthday. What are you doing?
- I am taking an afternoon bath. - An afternoon bath?
You are amusing as always. Did you celebrate? What are you doing tonight?
We have to flee of course, before they will find out.
- To flee? - Yes. One of them is dead, and we flee.
- Hurry up, Benny! We have to go. - We got to pack food and clothing.
- Did Julius call? - No.
Oh.
- Have you found out anything? - What?
- About the 100-year-old? - No, no, no.
It seems that Hinken Claesson has living a brother here in this area.
Ricky is his name. He ​​has seen the 100-year-old in Sjötorp.
- Check it. - Yes.
I want my bag here in Bali by tomorrow.
First I'm going to Sjötorp. I'm going there myself. No eh... assistance.
- I clipped the foot bond. It's gone. - Stop, shut up. Just get Bali into your thick head!
You understand? Bali? Otherwise you gonna be food.
I will serve you out as confect at your own fucking funeral dinner.
Food. I don't understand. What, why food?
-No, no, no, you will be the fucking food! - I am food...
You will be the food, because we would have killed you, cooked you and fucking would serve you up!
Satan in hell! No, no, not you. I was almost hitting a circus bus.
- Oh, Jesus Christ. Can't you even drive a fucking car? - I'll be back.
- Is he Russian? Oleg? - Yes, he is Russian.
- He trades all over the world. - Do you have references of him?
References? It is Popov's son. I have known him a long time.
He might probably able to help us
Or do you prefer an 'almost' doctor who has written a thesis?
'Hunted by a fucking dangerous biker gang', 180 points.
Shit, this road is too narrow.
That's bullshit. Let's see.
Fuck you!
Damn, he's in a hurry.
- What is he doing? - Brake!
What the hell?
Like being in a carousel. Damn, he flew.
- Anything else? - A... a jerrycan.
- With gasoline. - Do you have a jerrycan?
- No. - Well.
- And then a lighter. - This one?
Yes. We are going to grill a little.
Flesh. I love to grill.
- It's the time of the year, isn't it? - Yes, it is.
Damn!
Hell and damnation to you!
He doesn't seem so talkative. A pity. He seemed so eager.
Damn it!
- Is he still alive? - Yes, but his head is bleeding.
Hello?
Son of a bitch.
- Quickly, get in. Damned. - What the hell is wrong with people?
Nail one's car in broad daylight. They should lock him up.
He will be surprised when he opens the trunk.
- Is there no bandage? - Just grab a curtain or something.
- It must be something clean. - Who is he?
- He's been hit. - But who is it?
- He lies bleeding there. - Can no one tell who he is?
- He tried to shoot us. - Yes.
When he wakes up, we better give him his suitcase.
Give 50 million away? Have you gone completely insane?
- It's not your money. - He shot at us. It's not worth it.
- Allan, she wants to give our money away. - It's fucking not our money.
Where are we going now? Can you call Oleg now, Benny?
I found blood here, and in my hand, I hold an empty shell. A bullet shell.
Fired, yes.
What? Yes, get the technical detectives here.
He is regaining consciousness.
Here's your fucking suitcase, so you can leave us alone now.
- What? - Here is the suitcase you've been looking for.
We don't call the police. You move on and leave us alone.
- My suitcase? - You pursued us and passed us.
I think the three of us should have a little talk now.
One moment, champion.
It's memoria damnum Amnesia.
- Damn. - At home , we had that a lot too.
- And bedsores. - How long does that take?
Memoria damnum. It could take several hours or days.
- Maybe the rest of his life if he has bad luck. - We leave him and the suitcase behind.
I don't give 50 million back to someone who doesn't even know that he had them.
There is a limit.
- Hello? - Listen, never mind about the fucking hello.
- What exactly are you up to there, Gäddan? - Do you know who I am?
Yes, I do. Do you know who I am?
- No. Who are you? - Don't you fucking screw with me.
If you try screwing me, boy You can for one second and then I will fucking screw with you
Upside, downside, side ways, up your fucking ashole, every fucking arse.
Do you think you're safe there? 'Cause I can't get to Europe?
- This is Allan. - Who?
This is Allan Karlsson.
- Allan Karlsson? - Allan Karlsson from Malmköping.
I tell you something, mate. You and your fucking pals, you are fucking dead.
If you want to kill me, you better hurry, because I'm 100 years old.
You, my son, are dead fucking meat. Prick.
Meat?
He said I was the meat.
Who was that?
He did not say, but he said he would kill right and left.
Killing us?
I gonna fucking kill them, that's what I'm gonna do. Patsy, get out of the fucking water.
Joe, get on your fucking feet!
If some jack mallock who Allan Carlson I got to find whou who he is. Get me online.
I know that scouts are reliable-
- but to me it seems a dead end.
This is a ridiculous tip. An old man and an elephant in a forest.
Now we turn out this guy and his suitcase. Get our stuff together!
- I want to go out of here! - Relax, Gunilla.
First we had to share other people's money honestly.
But now no more deliberation?
What do you really want? Do you want to die here? For that is what will happen.
No, I want to live.
What a stupid question to ask him.
- Hello? - Hello, Allan. It is Oleg.
- Oleg. - Listen. We'll be landing soon.
where are we going to? We need a landing permit.
Moment, Oleg.
Gäddan, where do we go? We can go wherever we want to.
I do not know.
Just say what comes first to mind.
- Bali... Is it a place? - It is an island. Good heavens.
Hello. Bali.
Behind the slag depot? What?
Sorry,but that sounds a little weird.
I just say what I think.
I'll take it. I'll go there.
- Yes, hello. - You were right.
The sidetrack had nothing to do with the 100-year-old.
Andren had found Bulten and Hinken by means of a request for information.
- Bulten in Djibouti. - Where is that?
- It is a small country in East Africa. - How did he get there?
I really don't know.
Do they have his DNA so they know it's him?
Not yet. A suicide bomber blew the entire square to pieces.
And what happened to Hinken?
Him they found in Riga. He ​​was crushed in a scrap press.
Your theory was the fact that he was shot in Sjötorp. We found blood.
- It was the elephant blood. - Elephant blood...
Hinken had no bullet wounds, only crush injuries from the machine.
According to the technical detectives there was only elephant blood in Sjötorp.
Gäddan? And where did he go?
Nothing connects him to the 100-year-old. So you don't have to worry about that anymore.
- So we don't have anything from nobody? - No, certainly nothing criminal.
This is incredible.
The 100-year-old is standing in front of me. And an elephant.
Son of a bitch. Then ask him if he wants a ride back to the nursing home.
No way. Absolutely not.
- Just drop the whole thing. - Okay, I get it. I drop it.
Listen, I must nevertheless say that you...
handled the case well. I'll see you on Monday.
See you on Monday. Goodbye.
- Av. It is very tight. - It should be tight.
- The blood doesn't flow anymore. - Then do it yourself.
No,no, you should do it, even though you are fucking bad at it.
100-year-old still missing
- Hello? - Oh, you're still alive, are you?
- Where the fuck are you? - Bali.
Bali? Well, you are really taking a fucking piss out of me, ain't you?
- What? - What do you mean? Hello?
- It's Allan Karlsson. It's Allan C... in the next car. - Who?
Patsy, have a look to the left. Look, it's Allan Karlsson with my bag. In the car on the left
What is drawing people towards the sea? I guess it's the feeling of freedom.
Do something. Ram the car.
What a bang!
Bali is a beautiful island.
Hello? Are you left on the phone?
Oh, yeah...
Yeah...
- Have you already got malaria? - What?
- You're pale as a sheet. - No.
I am a little bit confused right now. I do not know.
What the hell. She wants to hold you.
I know. That's just it.
It's starting to get serious now. I must get my thoughts in order.
I'll get another round.
- She is not just anybody. - What do you mean?
I mean what you have now.
Is a rare luxury.
Now go to her and say it.
- That she is not just anybody? - No. You're making things difficult again for yourself.
Now go there.
I understand what you mean. I was thinking about that too...
Yes, she is not just anybody, as I said.
But you never know. Tomorrow will be another day.
- What did you say to him, Allan? - Why does she shout at you?
There were many, who yelled at me.
Anybody from railway employees to dictators.
The first one who shouted at me was my mother.
I don't remember that she screamed, but she certainly did.
I screamed probably too.
This is what babies do when they see the world for this first time,